Today I've decided to take little detour from usual "superstar athlete" centered blog and focus more on a true American Icon. Where to begin with Mrs. Kerrigan? She is the true embodiment of the will to overcome. Some of you may remember a little incident she had with Tonya Harding before the 1994 Winter Olympics. I mean, she, ok, I can't do this anymore, I tried to take it as far as I could. I'm kidding.
Wow, sorry about that. Seriously though, if you ever see a blog start with a figure skater and you think it's serious, you have some major issues.
Ok, let's refocus here. Time for the real blog....
#4 "Michael Vick"
Let me start by saying thanks to everyone who has come out to the blog so far. I love all the comments and votes on the polls. You guys are awesome. We met the goal of 300 views by midnight last night. You can check to see how many people have looked at the very bottom the page. The next goal is getting to 1000 views by midnight Sunday night. I have faith that we can do it, so let's make it happen. We're still working on getting John Mayer to Twitter about the blog. It shouldn't be too long before he comes through.
I chose Michael Vick as today's featured athlete because I wanted to focus on epic fails.
Here's a guys who was supposed to be one the greatest QB's in the league. He signed the biggest NFL contract to date at one point, had Nike make him his own shoe, and just made people look silly.
But, all good things must come to end. Unfortunately for Vick, this end wasn't retirement or winning the Super Bowl and going to Disney World, it was being sentenced to jail for running an underground dog fighting ring. Which, in my eyes, deserves the slogan "Epic Fail."
That's really all I have to say about Michael Vick. But, he does lead me to an important announcement. I have decided to make Wednesdays a very special day in the blog. I am going to deem this day and every other hump-day: "Current Event Wednesdays."
Because this is both the inaugural "Current Event Wednesday" and April Fool's Day, I thought I would start off with a pretty hilarious current event. Keep in mind, this is not a joke.
Some of you may be familiar with infomercial superstar Vince Offer, real name Vince Shlomi. He is the pitchman behind infomercial successes ShamWOW! and the Slap Chop food chopper. Well, apparently Epic Failure isn't reserved for superstar athletes. Vince Shlomi was well, I'll just let Wikipedia do the talking...
"On February 7, 2009, Offer was arrested in Miami Beach, Florida on a charge of felony battery after an altercation with a 26-year-old prostitute. Offer, who appears in police reports under his real name Vince Shlomi, contended that he struck the prostitute when she "bit his tongue and would not let go". Prosecutors later declined to file formal charges against either individual."
Are you kidding me? What has the world come to? The craziest thing is though, when police arrived on the scene, Vince wasn't using a famous ShamWOW! to clean up the mess. Instead, he had taken a Snuggie and was using that clean the crime scene (Ok that was a joke). As Jim Rome might say, Un-Be-Liev-Able. I guess Billy Mays was right about ol' Vince Shlomi.
Now, it's your turn. I want to hear some awesome stories of Epic Fails, maybe a great April Fool's day prank you pulled off, your favorite infomercial of all time, memories of Michael Vick and Nancy Kerrigan, etc. You get the idea. Leave some comments, suggestions, ideas. See you tomorrow.
Love,
Paul
i don't typically post during the afternoon hour due to my extremely stressful and overly demanding job, but i have to say. . . you're gonna love my NUTS!
ReplyDelete-daddy
Wow. I knew there was something fishy about that Shamwow guy. I've always hated him.
ReplyDeleteProbably my best April fools joke was the time I convinced my mother, grandmother, and great grandmother that I had gotten my gf pregnant. Good times.
I never really did April Fool's...however my students did some Killers. "Ms. Mcgrew your shoe is untied!! ....APRIL FOOLS!" uhh yeah...
ReplyDeleteA good April Fools Prank: My mom broke a glass cup and kept the glass shards the night before April Fools. The next morning my dad goes to a prayer time only to find out when its over his car was "stolen"(saw glass shards by his driver side window). He calls my mom and then the police to file a report. Thirty minutes later, my mom and all of us, drive by honking and waving at him. He was stunned.
ReplyDeleteI like the fact that Vick had made all of this money from his football contracts and endorsements, but he still was running a dog ring! Why would you do that! That really shows that you can take a thug off the streets, but your can't keep streets out of the thug! Think about it!
ReplyDeleteSad thing is he was in the middle of the huge contract and yet somehow still pissed it all away so that he has to go to bankruptcy court now. I mean seriously where did all that money go?
ReplyDeleteAs for Vince, I never though someone would come along and make me like Billy Mays but between Vince and Billy;s hilarious ESPN360 commercials I kinda appreciate Billy now. You still won't catch me dead with a Big City Slider station though.
I really thought "ShamWow"s were pretty neat....until now. Those orange chamois will forever be tainted!
ReplyDeletehey i found this thru mr. mcflys page. i liked tha barkley post best. vick is a dumbass. i seen that shamwow comercial. dude is creepy. if i was a cop id arrest his ass 2.
ReplyDeleteAbout thirty minutes ago I convinced one of my best friends that someone had broken into my apartment (I live in the ghetto so it's a possibility) and that I had avoided attack by hiding in a suitcase in my closet. :) My sister convinced several of her friends that she got shot in the leg with an arrow (only in my family is this a plausible April Fool's prank, hahaha).
ReplyDeleteAs for your post: Call me a jerk, but I laugh every time I hear/see anything about good ole' Nancy. I am NOT a fan of Michael Vick, never have been. Don't know much about Vince, but in at least one commercial Billy Mays' watch switches hands. Over and out.
~ Carissa
Remember when Vick was at virginia tech? That guy was hot stuff at the time...I remember an issue of sports illustrated with vick in all his VT regalia on the cover. I had to make a collage in art class in 6th grade about stuff i thought was cool. I cut that fool out, pasted him to my posterboard...and then...years later...he dissapointed the youth of america by:
ReplyDelete1) Going in for an STD test under the hillariously stupid name of "Ron Mexico"
2.)Participating in dog fights.
FAILURE.